Home > Story Samples >

The Cat's Pause

There was once a cat who had no home, his name was T'ian. He’d had many homes in his time, and many owners, but if asked he would explain that, just now, he was "taking a break from the people thing," or "keeping his options open". The other cats took this to be true for he was a fine looking cat, a Siamese blue-point with a good pedigree, and therefore it was logical that he would be able to pick any home he might choose, but in truth this really wasn't the case at all. The truth was, he couldn’t keep one.

T'ian was not in the best part of the city the night he met the old one, he wasn't even in a rough part, he was in a down-right horrible part - which he believed was exactly the right place to go to get some peace from the judging eyes of his peers.

'Hello youngster,' came a soft gentle voice from the dark. 'Stay awhile, it'll be good to have some company.'

T'ian strained his eyes in the gloom, trying to make out which one of the many shadows had spoken. Then one of them moved, allowing him to pick out a huge body moving his way. Out from between some old dustbins appeared a very large cat. She waddled more than walked, and her padded fur was grubby and matted. But she grinned broadly and T'ian, who was tired of the 'up-market' cats, found himself attracted to the old cat's easy manner.

'Good evening, Madam,' he said respectfully.

She smiled her pleasure at this gift and after nuzzling a proper hello, settled her huge frame on the ground with a thud. T'ian lay down near her. Neither spoke for some time - there seemed no need. The old cat purred gently and as the sound washed over him T'ian felt calmed and profoundly at peace. So much so that he was taken by surprise when he heard his own voice say:

'I keep losing my home.'

There was silence again. But he knew he'd been heard, and he knew he wasn't being ignored because she was now watching him, quietly. Her purring continued and so did his voice.

'I knock things down, you see. Precious things. I can't seem to help it and... after a while I end up without a home again.'

'You break things, huh?'

T'ian nodded. 'Yes, things from shelves, tables, sideboards. No matter how careful I am, down they go as soon as I pass them.'

'Tell me about it. How does it happen?' the old one asked.

T'ian winced. 'My back feet,' he said sadly. 'I'm fine at the approaches, and the passes, but the moving-on bit never works out because my back feet knock everything over.' He paused with a grim smile, then added. 'I must be some kind of sideboard road-sweeper.' He laughed, but not happily.

'Did you ever consider staying on the ground?' she asked him carefully.

T'ian looked up sharply, surprised. 'Of course not! I'm a cat.'

'Good!' she said with a look that met his. 'Remember that and there's always hope.' She heaved herself to her feet and disappeared amongst the dustbins. 'Come on,' she called back. 'Let's see what we can do.'

By the time T'ian had caught her up, which was mere seconds later, she was standing on a dustbin looking down at him. Stretching out in front of her was a very long and narrow plank, reaching across to another dustbin. She told him to join her and T'ian leaped up and sat beside her - surprised there was enough room for them both on the lid. Then he noticed the plank.

Stretching all the way along it stood numerous thin cotton reels, forming an perfect obstacle course. He wondered if she used it for her own practice - for indeed she could not have had time to arrange it since they had met. But when the cat calmly trotted the length of plank, she did so with such ease and accuracy that he knew it served no training for her. Her manner was almost as if there were no cotton reels to avoid, yet avoid them she did, every one. It even made her seem more thinner and more agile than before.

At the other end she turned and looked back at him. 'Now you try it,' she said, before jumping down to the ground to watch from the middle.

T'ian took a deep breath and started along the plank. He focused on each reel as he approached it, placing his front paws with care and trying to mimic the movement with his back ones. He took it slowly and really tried his best, but his heart sank as he heard first one, then another and another reel drop to the ground. At the other end he paused for courage before turning to see the damage.

But no reels were missing, and he guessed the old cat had already replaced them. He smiled down at her, appreciating the kindness with which she had obviously sought to spare his feelings - and in that moment, looking down at her, he fancied that he had misjudged her age - indeed she was too sprightly to be as old as he first thought.

'Seems to me you're looking where you put your front paws,' she said.

'Of course,' he said, confused. 'What else would I do?'

'Well, if your eyes are doing it all, then your body's doing nothing. You see,' she went on, 'if your front paws don't have to feel about which way to go, then they won't learn how, and if your front ones don't learn how to feel, then neither will your back ones. Hence they knock everything down.'

'I don't understand. Surely my back paws should just follow the front?'

'Yes, but they won't know how if the front ones aren't learning how to follow either.'

'The front ones? What would they be following?' T'ian asked, even more confused.

'Your path, of course. Look, it's like this, you want to go somewhere, so you decide the way and start off. But because you're busy 'looking', all your moves are jerky and hesitant. Pretty soon, you end up making your path, rather than following it. With that kind of lead it's little wonder that your back paws don't feel properly guided, and disagree with the directions coming from the front. In fact, I'd say knocking things down is their way of saying so.'

'So what should I do if I don't look?'

The cat smiled. 'Experiment with different ways, and practice the ones that work,' she said. 'Try again, but this time... close your eyes.'

T'ian would have felt she was making fun of him but she had such a playful, even childlike grin on her face, that he knew she wasn't judging him, she was enjoying him. It warmed him somehow, and he felt a chuckle somewhere deep inside him - and although it wasn't strong enough to get out, it did give him enough courage to do what she suggested. He closed his eyes and started to walk - extremely carefully though.

It was an almost painful process, picking his way through the obstacles. He'd lift his foot slowly, edge it forwards with heart stopping nervousness, and then lower it with infinite caution. Whenever his paws, front or back, touched a reel, instead of seeing it as a mistake, he would simply allow his paws to feel and know its curve, giving him the information he needed to decide which way to move to pass it. Soon he started to view the reels not as obstacles, but merely as choices to be made. He knocked a few down, but he allowed himself this - after all, he was walking blind. But when he finally reached the other end, he knew he'd done well.

He stopped and turned, opening his eyes to see without surprise that the reels had already been replaced, and that the female was again sitting watching him from the ground. Looking down at her, he saw her with new vision yet again - her face was beautiful in the moonlight, and her body appeared to be of a much younger cat.

'You did well,' she told him, saying it with genuine joy.

'It was fun,' he replied happily.

'Fun, yes,' she purred. 'It's always easy when it's fun, but sometimes,' she went on, 'we need to move quickly-' (instantly there was a loud bang right behind T'ian, making him jump and run full speed along the plank to the other end) '-and,' she continued, 'it's amazing what happens then.'

T'ian was staring at the plank; none of the reels had fallen. He had run carelessly through them yet he knew he hadn’t touched them.

'H...how?' he stammered.

'Certainty and then Surrender,' she stated simply. 'First you trust yourself and have the certainty to commit, then surrender the fear of failing.'

T'ian jumped down to the ground. He stared at the old cat who had definitely now grown young; a fat cat who was now lithe, with fur so gleaming it now shined the light of the moon. 'Why do you always replace the reels so quickly?' he asked her.

'I didn't,' she replied gently. 'Obstacles are an illusion - you never really touched them.'

'Who are you?' he said suddenly.

'The one who has waited,' her voice whispered; her form starting to fade.

'But where did you come from?' he said, though he sensed a trace of the answer within him.

'Where you left me,' she replied.

T'ian could barely see her now. 'Where are you going?' he mouthed.

A minute later T'ian walked out of the alley, a new cat with new purpose and confidence. He now knew where he was going, and so cared not the road that took him there. It no longer mattered. His walk was steady and sure, and he could not fail to arrive. For now, his body was balanced.

For in his mind echoed her final reply. A reply that had been spoken back to him from within his own heart. A reply that had been: 'Home!'

^ To Top